“Memoirs of a Geisha-in-the-Making” … brilliant wordplay or dumb luck? Admittedly, I sometimes enjoy reveling in my own wit, but that’s just me thinking I’m clever. On days when I’m usually the only one thinking it. Titles aside, this foray into comedic rap is a real-life experiment with my silly little real life standing, very un-geisha like, center stage – all science-y and fun and psychological. (Maybe not science-y and psychological, but def fun. At least for me.)
Why would a white girl from the Bronx go geisha – and what in the hell does that even mean? Mind you, I use the term “girl” loosely. (Very loosely.) But first, my disclaimer. I’m a middle-aged, okay-looking ex-New Yorker who just happens to know Harry Winston from Hermes — which still leaves me as the underdog. And who doesn’t love that? Exactly. Politically incorrect? I’m notorious for laughing at all the wrong things at all the worst times. Out to lunch? Guilty. (Could be hormonal. Just sayin’. ) In fact, I’m such an unlikely (but mostly likeable) crazy-ass long shot, that this could actually work.
It wasn’t easy leaving the comfort zone I lounged in for the last eight years – steady paychecks and health insurance have an upside. When I was one of 150 people laid off from the “happiest place on Earth” last September, I seriously couldn’t believe my luck (or lack thereof, TBD by downloads and merch sales.). Giddy elation surged through what was left of an overworked, overwhelmed, and over-fried brain … my long-awaited “window” had arrived. And although I wasn’t sure if it was shock, delusions of grandeur, or both, this moment begged to be spun into gold. Could it finally be my time? All fired up, I decided to give it one last snarky go. Because if not now, when?
And just like that, GEISHA-MANIA!™ became my sole focus – the character and song I’d been trying to figure out forever suddenly manifested. Talk about divine intervention. I truly believed I could pull it off. What was stopping me? (Certainly not the fact I had no clue what I was getting myself into.) I’ll spill all the juicy deets, but first let’s get over the obvious.
I may not be as young or rich or beauteous as some, but I’ve got cool shoes, incredible vision, and a self-effacing sense of humor. (I’ve counted more than a few random moments that leave me totally tickled with myself. See Par. 1.) If Lisa Vanderpump could bring it on, then gosh damnit, so could I. Yes bitches, wrinkles RULE … except when slathered with white face paint. Hence my, or shall I say Lady Geisha’s, “au naturel” look. Let’s leave the real scaring for Halloween, right?
Stay tuned for more on how the song came to be … time for dance class. (I like to spread out these little ‘gems’ for your enjoyment.)