Friday, October 11, 2013



Oy ... it's been another long, hard week. At least for me and that's all that matters. Seriously, the life of Lady Geisha is not ALL glitz and glam. (Well, mostly it is.) Diamonds, furs, and caviar can take a toll on one's inner fabulosity, so sometimes (just sometimes) it takes more than a whiff of a new Birkin bag to get this bling-crazy bitch out of bed. Seriously. Which is why my bevy of pool boys know that when Friday rolls around, they better wake me up with the party already started. There's nothing more enticing than an icy, spiked pitcher full of fun with my morning paper. It's gets me to open one eye after the other, take a quick dip, and then the rest of the day is GEISHA-MANIA! GEISHA-MANIA! -- all the way till Monday. 

After all, with Valerie Harper getting the DWTS boot and Miley shedding clothes faster than the government can shut something else down, a geisha-nista's gotta do what a geisha-nista's gotta do. And for this quirky, middle-aged underdog with killer biceps, that spells P-A-R-T-Y!!! 

Have a blast and GO GEISHA-MANIA!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Happy Balloons-Around-the-World Day!!!

That's right little wontons, October 2 is upon us again and you know what that means! I, for one, have scads to be thankful for this Balloons-Around-the-World Day. Why? In the finale of my music video funfest GEISHA-MANIA! (filmed at LACMA in Los Angeles), I'm wearing a sheer black tutu-type skirt that's floating atop 10 gold balloons -- and then I explode! How phenomenal. Reflecting on that day still gives me goosebumps as I remember thinking it was totally awesome to announce to passersby that I was "freezing my balls off!" Honestly, how many women ever get to say that ... and MEAN IT? As always, it was beyond cold down there. (Meaning the mid-Wilshire district. No pun intended.) There really wasn't much, if anything, between my gold spandex booty shorts, bare legs, and a wind chill factor of 40 degrees. So, how the hell did we come up with such fabulosity? Check it out.

While gathering video ideas, I found this fashion shot and thought it was the bomb. In my mind, I actually envisioned how the entire scene would play out ... I'd be walking away from the camera, balloons a-bouncing around me like little golden bubbles and suddenly POOF! I'd explode into a billion bits. Using that as our inspiration, my kickass costume designer/stylist Tomika Smalls came up with a budget-friendly plan that was sheer brilliance.

Perusing available items in my wardrobe, we were at a loss for full black latex skirts and decided the tutu would do. (These things really come in handy when you find yourself a middle-aged underdog about to make a music video.) Lady Geisha, being the bling-happy bi-atch she is, needed her own twist on the look, so Tomika created a one-of-a-kind, sculpted gold jacket with my cartoon alter ego embellished with jewels on the back. Now we just needed to figure out the balloons. 

How to make it work? Easy. We strategically pinned blown-up balloons (hanging from ribbons) around a thin leather braided belt that I would wear under the tutu. Obviously, that would have to be put in place after driving to the location, so we loaded up the balloon-laden belt into the trunk and headed to the set. Once there, the looks (and comments) we got from strangers in the LACMA ladies room while adjusting the balloons was priceless -- everyone loved it! I was enthralled. 

Aside from the bitter chill and psycho set-crashers, Tomika, director Luciano Fontana, and DP Frank Trenado did an a-MAZING job to make the shoot effortless, fun and, well, balloon perfect. My first video is absolute proof that creativity abounds and there's absolutely NO AGE LIMIT ON HAVING FUN BITCHES!!! xoxo