Showing posts with label #party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #party. Show all posts

Saturday, August 16, 2014

KNOCK, KNOCK THIS

Hola love muffins ... como estas?! Since today's National Tell a Joke Day, I'm gonna share something I find funny. I don't really care if you agree 'cause it's my story, damn it. FYI, the very first comedy album I ever purchased was Steve Martin's "Let's Get Small." I loved it. One of his classic lines is forever ingrained in my mind -- "People ask me, 'Steve, how can you BE so fuckin' funny?'" I'll never forget his delivery (perfection) and, from that moment on, I was hooked on making people laugh. It's my crack.



Back in the day, I used to run wild through the desolate, late-night streets of NYC with my punk rock girl pack for shits 'n' giggles (sporting a black mohawk, no less). We'd land -- "take over" may actually be a more apt description -- at the Mudd Club, Danceteria, Irving Plaza, CBGB's, Peppermint Lounge, the Tunnel, Limelight, and places I don't even remember for some hella hardcore fun. Like cockroaches in the Bronx, we were everywhere.



Once settled in with a drink or two, I'd start walking up to random people and make up morbid jokes - ON THE SPOT. Oh yeah. I, for one, thought it was hilarious. (Not to mention my gal pals who nearly peed their pants. Again, loved it.) Best part of the whole deal was the sick and confused looks I received from my victims. Yup, I thought it was brilliant. (That's youth for you.)



Years later, while being coerced into performing at an open mic night somewhere in North Bergen, New Jersey (that's a whole other story), this comedy club producer informed me that one of the twisted jokes I mentioned creating during this heyday-of-sorts went on to become one of the most popular party circuit jokes for at least a decade. Imagine that. My claim to fame and I didn't even know it. (Kinda like how I actually won $5K in one of Snapple's bottle cap contests and threw it away BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW. I kid you not. Next time they tell me I "didn't" win car payments for a year, I'll start counting my Benjamins. Um, Snapple, are y'a listenin'?)



Actually, this joke is STILL my all-time fave. (I remember exactly what club I was in and the faces of the people I went up to. BTW, they weren't laughing.)  And, YES, I wrote it from my little head. © 1980-somethin'. So here goes ...

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was DEAD.

Poor little bastard. 





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xoxo

Friday, October 11, 2013

FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY ... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY WEEK?



HOLA IS RIGHT!

Oy ... it's been another long, hard week. At least for me and that's all that matters. Seriously, the life of Lady Geisha is not ALL glitz and glam. (Well, mostly it is.) Diamonds, furs, and caviar can take a toll on one's inner fabulosity, so sometimes (just sometimes) it takes more than a whiff of a new Birkin bag to get this bling-crazy bitch out of bed. Seriously. Which is why my bevy of pool boys know that when Friday rolls around, they better wake me up with the party already started. There's nothing more enticing than an icy, spiked pitcher full of fun with my morning paper. It's gets me to open one eye after the other, take a quick dip, and then the rest of the day is GEISHA-MANIA! GEISHA-MANIA! -- all the way till Monday. 

After all, with Valerie Harper getting the DWTS boot and Miley shedding clothes faster than the government can shut something else down, a geisha-nista's gotta do what a geisha-nista's gotta do. And for this quirky, middle-aged underdog with killer biceps, that spells P-A-R-T-Y!!! 

Have a blast and GO GEISHA-MANIA! http://youtu.be/20h4EkWnk4g
xo