Wednesday, February 12, 2014


Tom Jones, pre-Beefcake days, shirt slightly open

Vegas icon Tom Jones is that annoying little Welsh voice caught between my half-carat Harry Winston studs today. (Not like I have other old-guy Welsh voices stuck in my head ever -- that would just be creepy, ok?) But when said song is "It's Not Unusual" 72 hours before Valentine's Day, just harpoon my heart already. Saccharin is NOT my flavor of choice, for the clueless few that couldn't tell.

Oompa-Loompa Tom at his "Beefcake-iest Best"

Granted, I actually think "It's Not Unusual" would make one helluva cover -- Lady Geisha-style, of course. Imagine my signature scream-laugh. Here's the catch. Even though I'm fond of that song (and the 1960s as a whole), I'm deathly allergic to furry man boobs peeking out from shirts open to the waist, snapping to my own music, and grown men growling like cartoon chia pets. Poor Tom. Please someone, ANYONE, for the love of all that's sane and (more importantly) chic, make it f*g stop. Don't even get me started on "What's New Pussycat?" ... yes, Virginia, there IS a silver lining.

Screw the shirt. Banana hammock vs. sushi bikini. 
Who am I to judge?

Being that I'm quite the giver and the term earworm is a calque (borrowed phrase) from the German "Ohrwum" (not that I'm blaming my fellow Krauts for Tom's takeover), here's a little pre-Valentine's gift. Just for you. Have at it ... and please take note of Tom's famous pelvic jump thrust at :53. It's hilarious. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -- LG xo

BTW, little wontons ... don't forget to check out my brand-y new website and GEISHA-MANIA! shop for cool Valentine's Day GEISHA GEAR! xo

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