Tuesday, March 18, 2014


Got hangover? Shopping's my wonder drug of choice. Like men and their motors, wandering about Bloomies is my kind of road rally. It revs me when I'm down, de-stresses after long days, and proves shoes can change the world — all while kicking Papi to the curb for extra closet space. (Plus it's 100% legal with no telltale odor.) But back to your queasy self.

For all my little boozers who imbibed just a tad too much and can't move (much less shop), here are some of the world's most bizarre hangover cures. Headaches, nausea, dehydration, and the ilk will laugh themselves right out of your body. Then fire up the credit card because you've got some real work to do. Cheers!

1. Pickled Herring
If it's endorsed by the Germans, you know it works. They don't f*ck around, so just eat the damn things. 

2. Sour Pickle Juice
The Polish believe high levels of electrolytes repair the liver after living it up. Just don't ask how many pickles it takes to screw in a lightbulb.

3. Tripe Soup
Evidently, in Romania, a cow's stomach lining is a methane-tooting miracle when you're sloshed.

4. Umeboshi Plums
One guess where these originate. The Japanese even steep the little puckers in green tea to let the salty, sour goodness kick them in the ass sip after sip. Ew.

5. Shrimp
In Mexico, this "Vuelva a la Vida" (return to life) food gets'em dancing on the tables after a night of, um, dancing on the tables. Go figure.

6. Boiled Banana Peel
Yum ... who doesn't have several stinky ones strewn around the house? Ancient Chinese secrets are so silly. BTW, you drink the liquid after boiling the peel rather than eat the mushy mess. Equally fun. 

7. Salted Coffee
No explanation necessary. I'd listen to any country that produces a fashion wunderkind like Gaultier — regardless of how snarky they are. Does that come in size 0? Merci.

8. Deep-fried Canaries
Those cray-cray ancient Romans. When you start giving Tweety the evil eye, mankind is one small step closer to its cannibalistic doom. Grab some Pepto and call it a day.

9. Lemons and Limes
Not in any way what you're thinking. Rub these fruits under your armpits like the Puerto Ricans for round-the-clock hangover protection ... and a cool citrus-y scent.

10. Cold Lemon Water
Minus the whack factor of the others, this is a REAL and very personal cure (as if I invented water and lemons). Seems contradictory if your tummy's flip-flopping, but the L-Word works wonders after guzzling one too many geisha-ritas. Crazy, eh? xo

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