HAPPY NATIONAL MARGARITA DAY!

Upon awakening on the most hallowed of holidays--National Margarita Day--let's take a moment to honor the true meaning of this auspicious occasion. Hmmm. Actually, there's not much history to honor, according to the Huff Post -- and if they can't find a story explaining how the holiday came to be, I won't waste time trying to dig something up. There's just too damn much drinking to do ... and it's only noon.

FACT: we do know that both the U.S. and Mexico claim dibs on designing the luscious libation -- even though tequila is definitely a Mexican liquor invented after the Spanish conquest. In Mexico. Just sayin'. Here's what I think -- who gives a flying lime where it came from? As long as there are numerous salt-rimmed glasses in sight, I can deal. (See pic below.)

What's in the concoction everyone's clamoring to claim their own? Simple recipes include tequila, lime juice, grenadine, creme de cassis, ice and soda, but there are as many iterations as there are flavors. There are so many cool recipes to try, but personally, I haven't had one I didn't love--classic, mango, strawberry, watermelon--though a Caliente Kiss is next on the list. 

My fave? Well, they're kinda like children -- all totally sweet, fun to be around, and enrich the quality of your life without even knowing. So, so, so hard to pick one over the other. Just keep'em coming. (Preferably on the beach, served by a shirtless buff cabana boy. Double yum.) 

As people all over Los Angeles, and the entire country, start slurping away like there's no such thing as a weekly Margarita Monday (there is), I pose just one question: who's bitchin' enough to dream up the perfect Lady Geisha margarita? It has to be sweet (like me), sparkly (like me), and have a quirky twist (def like me). Talk amongst yourselves, rev those blenders, and invite me to come try it! I just may include you and your tres fab recipe in one of my upcoming books. (Probably yes. Wink, wink.)

So whether you enjoy'em classic, slushy, or via ice pop form, make sure to imbibe wholeheartedly -- and often. All day long. We're not only celebrating National Margarita Day, but America as a whole. I mean, what other country is fickle enough to deem an alcoholic drink worthy of national recognition after enforcing prohibition? Seems like we should really be gearing up for National 420 Day, no? xo

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ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE ... AND A CAMERA!

How fitting I'd come across this pic the day after Valentine's Day ... our holiday of love. Seems this beyond adorbs couple got married before cameras were an option. I shall call them Cute 1 and Cute 2. Kinda like Dr. Suess.

Words can't express how much I truly love them, with their beautiful little intricately lined faces and knotty caramel canes all dressed up. Recapturing a moment. Reflecting a lifetime. So beautiful I could cry. (It never takes much.)

Notice the contrast between her white veil and his shirt, her cream gown and his jacket -- it's BRILLIANT. The brick wall? Symbolic. Love, love, love the joy on his face. I can't take it. Her winsome expression is just the absolute BEST. Can someone bring them over to dinner for me? They're too friggin' fabulous.

Now... you were saying how what your V-day was? If it wasn't all Hallmark cards 'n' street vendor roses, just look at Cute 1 and Cute 2. Love knows no age. Simply focus on your own happiness and love will find you. Relationships are the icing, NOT the cake. You gotta make your own damn cake. So fall in love with YOU, buy some proverbial eggs, and start baking.

Plus, all the cheap chocolate and tacky, sappy bears are on sale today, making them even cheaper for the puppet hordes that buy into this commercial crap. Not really the kind of emotion I'm looking for. Stores will be absolutely ransacked, like mini tornadoes tore through'em. Heh, heh, heh. (Of course, the kind of love connection I'm looking for is found at Tiffany's. They NEVER have sales like that so I'm good. Thank you.)

BTW, you know I crack myself up, sooo ... if you wanna smile, laugh, or perhaps chortle tea out your nose, check out my new GEISHA-MANIA! website and GEISHA GEAR shop. You'll love it.  xo

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HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

I'm just full of LOVE today and so, so, so thankful for all those in my life that make me feel loved, cherished, and adored. I'm talking family, friends, and those whose words or smiles always turn my day around. Completely. THAT, my little wontons, is what today (and pretty much every other day) is all about. Not to mention the random marriage proposals. They're quite lovely too ... and funny as hell. Keep'em coming -- they totally put a smirk across my face. You guys crack me up. No really.

Aside from all the warm 'n' fuzzies, diamonds don't hurt either. Especially anything over three carats. Set in platinum. A Tiffany blue box works just fine. Can you feel the love tonight? Oh yeah, babydoll, give me one of those and you definitely will. Or shoes. Shoes are the next best Valentine's Day gift. (Not a fan of chocolate and flowers die.) Can you make'em Louboutin? Size 7 please. Come to think of it, a trip to Fiji would be fun. Especially in the dead of winter. I love wearing bikinis in winter. Okay, diamonds, shoes, and a trip. Got that?

Back to the serious stuff -- not that diamonds and Louboutins and trips aren't serious stuff. Oh my. But here's the thing ... women just want to feel loved unconditionally. If you're the type of guy who needs to prove it by dropping a wad, so be it. I'm all for that -- you have my approval.  On the other hand, it's the spontaneous, everyday gestures that truly win her heart. Dancing when there's no music, holding hands, kissing in a crowd. Why not tell her that you've never felt so loved by anyone in your life and how thankful you are to have HER? Okay, I'm getting nuts. Stick with the swag. xo

Need a last-minute gift? Shop GEISHA GEAR for all your Valentines! xo

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ARE YOU READY???

HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!

Yay, I'm hanging at Lost Angels studio this week to work on my two new singles with music producer Rico Lucky ... two, count'em, TWO. How f'g cool is that? I know, I know, it's been a millennia since my circus-style sideshow GEISHA-MANIA, but these things take time. Like a finely aged vino. Or just time ... damn it.

That's right bitches -- this quirky middle-aged underdog with killer biceps is back. With a vengeance, even. Whadd'ya think -- one song and she's done? One sushi bikini and she's teriyaki? One romp with two dudes in geisha drag and she's back to a gray cube? Hell to the NO. This is only the proverbial onslaught of all things Lady Geisha. Just what the world needs. I know. But don't whine you weren't warned. On the other hand, if you don't like it and have nothing nice to say, kiss my white ass and crawl back under your right-wing rock.

On the other, other hand, YOU could be part of my next music video. Un-hunh. Stars in your eyes? Oh, that was soot? Poor baby. Either way, stay tuned for all the deets 'cuz all I can say is, "Are you ready for THIS?" Even if you're not, I don't really give a rat's ass. That's how I roll. Welcome to the YEAR OF THE GEISHA.

That is all.
xo

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